all we need is a softer world

" When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life.
When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote happy. They told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life. "

its the little things that matter

i feel like summer has started today
i just got back from new jersey and last night i felt so unorganized and i felt like i didnt have control of anything going on in my life. so i wrote my self a list of everything i need to get done this week. Its about a page long, and i have only done about two things so far but for some reason i am excited about it. Its a long list, and there are only seven days in a week....six since im hoping to get everything done by sunday but i some things are small and will only take a second to do. Its just that they are on my list so hopefully i will actually do them, instead of just leaving it as a thought. Today i cleaned and vaccumed my bedroom [two seperate things on the list]..thats one of the bigger things believe it or not haha...it took be like two an a half hours but its done. One of the simpler things on my list is starting my book, well i should say "re-starting" my book. I started it like two months ago, and all it takes to restart it is a page...but for some reason i haven't, in the last week that its been on my mind, started it.
I sat through a "speech" last week, which led me to the awkward conclusion that i love speeches..haha. but the woman was up in front of me with her pretty blonde hair swayed across her face, petite body moving as she got into everything she was saying and just grabbed my attention. She talked about how all we need to do is little things. It was kinda on the subject of 'living in the moment' type of cliche saying but she broke it down and made more sense of it. if i start my book right now, even if i only read two or three pages....i will still have started it. In my mind i think that i want to wait until i have a good half hour to sit down and read, that never gets done and a month goes by before i even think about opening the book. when rather, the minute i first thought of reading the book i could have sat down and read a little, because then if i had kept that low stardard of reading however much i can each day my book would have been done last month.
she talked about a lot of other stuff too and it was so inspiring, but everything she said was true, if i just live, and do little things everyday, if i break down big goals to simple everyday goals they will complete that larger goal in the long run.
toodles-im going to read

she will be known

Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way

&& you fill her with wonder

too much thought

I've been thinking lately about judgement. I am definately guitly of judging other people like just how i look at them and notice everything about them and think about it (like im examining them as a grade or something), and just in my head come up with certain conclusions meanwhile i haven't even met this person! But it gets so complicated-Its basically imposible to avoid judging other people or just being judged yourself is what i have concluded. People are always going to think something of you whether its good or bad. You are going to have certain reasons for thinking things of others to. Its not like everytime you talk to your friend you start clean, but should you? Although if im going to talk to my friend who i feel is really judgemental like everytime i talk to her, does that mean i should start fresh everytime giving her another chance. No way! thats just being ignorant. Or is it...ughh told you this is confusing. Then you could always be that person that "doesn't care what people think"....but you don't what to go tooo far with this, keep in mind we are pretending you are normal...well at least most of the time. Anyways-what do you think?

its gonna change everything i feel

Its such a beautiful day out. I took a walk, a long walk, in my barefeet, with his ipod and a flowy skirt:)
Lately i feel like i want more, maybe im anticipating summer, but either way im not sure what it is exactly that i want more of. Maybe just bliss, and I am anticipating summer knowing that it will bring bliss.
I'm feeling alot lately like nothing can ever be simple, although thats the way things should be. I've never been one to feel the need to have it, simplicity that is, but lately I just find myself feeling like so much is a waste. Like it shouldn't be this complicated... so why is it?

A moment worth eye rolling

Its annoying how stupid people are lately. Its out of my control, and its quite sad that nothing can be done about their stupidity. Just putting that out there. I've been thinking about my future more lately, well more like just yesterday, and its most likely because yesterday was career day..haha. So, on the subject of career day, last night I was telling my dad about it, and about some of my interests and as you probably already know along with a few other things, I am interested in criminal justice or being a lawyer as like a career. While my mom's friend, Kim and Kim's boyfriend were over, I was telling my dad about career day and about the attorney I met and talked to, Doug (Kim's boyfriend, who might i add just for image purposes has a big nose) had the nerve to blurt out that I shouldn't be a lawyer because they are scum (and typically kim haddddd to agree). Im not sure if just a huge wavy of rudeness flew over him or if he whelled up with this feeling that he needed to tell me this in order to save my future. Might I be so disrespectful by saying that I don't even think he really has a job right now! Ugh so-yes although it wasn't a huge dream of mine, it wasn't like I was very passionate about being a lawyer I still took that very offensively. And maybe someone should let him know that a lot of people are scum in the world. And as he concluded about lawyers lying alot (therefore somehow proving his 'scum' theory), MANY other people lie....step into any high school and viola! This just is yet another example of kim, another story to add to the list to explain my feelings about her.
So, I'm sure you are awful glad right now that you took an extra minute or so, just to read my blog.
genuionly yours-mary