Don't forget to look before you fall

Christmas morning, and im sitting in the 6th row listening to a "soon-to-be-priest" talk about the unknown, thinking:how much does he really know about the unknown, when obviously he found his purpose in life. Normally this is the part i tune out, because its just the priest interpreting the readings,if that, but lately thats changed. So he's going on and on and im not saying i can disagree with what he said because it was all true and related to me its just one of those things that might mean more coming from someone else. But then he told us this story about his grandfather; "I used to sit in that very first seat right there (pointing to the front row) growing up, with my family, and just about 5 years i was sitting there with my elderly grandfather, whom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer and my grandfather, who had been going to this church for thirty years turned to me and said 'where are we?' and i said grandpa we're at church. so for the rest of mass i had to show him the prayers to say and tell him when to stand, kneel or sit and then it was time for communion and we started walking up and i told him to fold his hands, but then the second father [the priest] held up the euchrist my grandfather put his hands out and said Amen [which is what you are taught to do and say]." This story probably doesn't mean anything to you and i don't even know why it meant alot to me, maybe because it was just unexpected, the results of how easily you could see God's presence that is? And the things that do mean the most to us aren't expected, hence falling in love.

with love
mary

gravity

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.


Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.


I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

insipid

I don't really have any 'inspriational life advice' for you these days, so i suppose i will just inform you of my bliss-less life. You'd think it would be filled with fun and excitement during this christmas season, and its not that my life is bad right now, my lifes not even boring, its just that though. Its christmas!!!..and it doesn't feel like it. It just feels normal. I think maybe this year the reason im not anticipating christmas is because i didn't really ask for anything big this year and there are more important things that i am looking forward to then getting presents. For example i am sooo looking forward to turning sixteen and getting my permit!!! I am looking forward to going on my missions trip and i am just looking forward to summer, actually and all the unthinkable adventure that comes with summer. That kinda reminds me of another reason as to why i wouldn't want to live in Florida, like i loveee the warmth but living in the warm, non-snowy climate all the time would just give me nothing to look forward to, seeing as i am looking forward to summer so much. It would be like blahhh all year round. haha. a girl needs a little change =P

Lately im starting to realize how much i dont want to grow up. I want to turn seventeen and then stay seventeen my wholeee life.

(A question to mess with your mind): Do second chances happen twice?

well i think i smell pizza soo until next time; toodless
<3 mary

i <3 hot chocolate

i loveeee hot chocolate. I am drinking it right now and im on the phone with josh too (shhhh dont tell him =] tehe). But i really do like hot chocolate, its sooo warm and when you drink it, it heats up your whole mouth, then you can feel it traveling down your esophagus and then it spreads all throughout your body, and yummmy its warm (go ahead go back some come back and then you can finish reading haha =])

so i just took putty out for a walk and it was really cold, i was listening to my ipod which surprisingly i haven't done in a while, it was SO cold and i was only wearing a sweatshirt and normally i despise the cold with a passion and would definitely not be outside taking my little sister on a walk, butttt today i just decided that i, even though i was freezing, liked it..whether it was being by myself for a little while or my whole body including my brain being numb idk. Randomly i concluded that the dry cold air makes me feel healthy....don't ask, but just breathing it in while i was walking made be feel like healthy haha, know what im talking about? maybe not.

I have exciting news....i can go to france!!! ahhh i am ecstatic...someone dropped out so it created an opening and i am next in line...now its not officially official because i have to get all the paper work back to her but im going to france! im so excited!

I am going to small groups soon and im going to go eat some spaghetti so talk to you later

toodles<3

It's raining diamonds

It's snowing!!

now as many of you know..i don't really like the snow, but to inform you differently i actually love snow its just the playing in it part that I don't like. But today is the first official snow day (i think) this year...I'm saying that because it has been snowing consistantly for like an hour...and all the other times it "snowed" this year it was crappy, little sugar-like droplets that dissolve faster than they land. So i do love this part of the snow watching it fall beautifully outside, as I am sitting inside getting colder by the flake.
Last night i painted my nails ( at kaylas =]) and I really like the color nail polish i picked (kayla's haha well her moms ;]) butt i think i like it so much just because i now that like once it all wears off and i have to take it off..thats the end of it (unless i coincidentally go over to kaylas and paint my nails while I'm there again...but i probably wouldn't even remember which color it is considering her mom has like 50 bajillion of the same colors). The point is I think I (as well as maybe yourself) am like that with alot of things...kinda like the "you want it the more you can't have it type of thing", Like, when your eating skittles you save the best color for last, because obviously thats your favorite and its only smart to savor it, but don't you think the opposite rule should apply..like doesn't it really make more sense to go for what you want the most in life, rather then suffering under crappy situations thinking someday you will have this....or get that..or be in that position rather than this one ( under certain circumstance of course ) idk..it also reminds me about going to college, how many invincible teenagers are making "tons of money" during high school or right after high school so naturally you think "why would i go to college to make money when i already am", i guess i would have to disagree with that wisdom filled thought because everybody knows college is pretty much the way to be sucessful in this world.Its debatable.
I made brownies this afternoon while listening to nothing less than the best music ever (country of course) and now i am off to do homework, clean my room, and do laundry. i know, sounds thrilling.

toodles<3

by the way...i thought that title was creative =]...get it? because snow is like rain just frozen, and its soooo sparkly and pretty that it could pass for a handful of diamonds?

love pedals

i know, i know. this is my profile picture =P but i really like it...and i don't really know why. I think maybe i like it because it is very feminine but (as many of you ladies know) very mysterious of what lies ahead and in my opinion very confident proving. I know its kinda a little revealing haha but still its like you can only imagine who took that picture and what it must have been like, if her stomach really looks like that (i hope not) or if shes sucking it in or if it was edited at all...i think just the fact that i like that picture says alot about me...a lot more that what you just first see when you look at it. It also kinda reminds me of Rose in the Titanic...which makes me realize maybe it doesn't say alot about me after all, but of some qualities that i hope to aquire, of something i admire or maybe even desire..not the jack dying part but the love story part. I guess it makes me think of rose because she is confident and bold, beautiful and strong, independent and at the same time reliant on Jacks love. I mean just this picture itself could be related to the amount of confident it has for a woman such as Rose to get her naked portrait done by such a gorgeous young man =], not only that but to tease him like she did with such an akward request and yet fall completely in love with him without him totally knowing leaving him only hoping for the best... i guess you have to be me to understand that as a complete and sane thought haha
so then, what do you think of the picture?...does a whole story come to mind when you look at it...or is it just another promiscuous photo?

with love<3
mary

beauteous fall.

alright listen up bloggers....here i am writing in my blog!! soo now you'll lay off?mhm thanks =]. Anyways so thanks to your pressure I just wrote the crappiest post of my lifeeee...lucky for you i erased it haha....in which a single moment after i got up and danced non-stopped to- t-shirt - now i know how lazy you are so i even put up a link... you've probably already heard it but listen to it!...so after this song was over..then forever by chris brown came on and I danced to that....yeahhh i haven't started my homework yet tehe..see what i do with my free time.Well back to my boring life...field hockey is officially over...and we didn't win a single game, coach said our last game we played the best we have out of the whole season...coincidental?i think so. I am working this weekend and as you will probably be able to assume...because of the fact that I haven't started my homework yet...that i have a crap load to do this weekend..yay!...well here's something positive...tomorrow's Friday! woohoo-one more day..I can make it haha. I'll write again soon.
toodles<3
P.S. Question of the day (which means you will answer)- Why do leaves change into beautiful colors?

Last day of summer.

alright soo sorry for reminding you but today is the last day of summer...for me at least. Josh's last day of summer was yesterday, and we got to spend it together...which I think is cute because its not like we get to see each other whenever. But to be honest today is a boring day haha. Right now i am currently babysitting my little sister... thats always fun, at 4 i have a game and then after that Kayla and I are going to get a wedding shower present for our friend Danielle, so it mostlikly will get better. Josh came up on Sunday so i got to hang out with him the past few days, which I loved so much. So yesterday, I finally got the movie that my dad ordered online for me, in the mail, A Walk to Remember, i feel like i have been waiting for it forever. So i could watch that today to make my day that much better but it is always more fun to watch it with someone and baby won't appreciate it as much as i would like her to. Alright so i have some lyrics for you, I think everyone can relate to them because we all want to feel needed, and like we are important, and to me this song just says that you don't need to do something amazing to "make a differenece".

Something worth leaving behind by lee ann womack

Hey Monalisa, who was Leonardo?
Was he Andy Warhol?
Were you Marilyn Monroe
Hey Mozart, what kind of name is Amadeus
It's kinda like Elvis
You gotta die to be famous
I may not go down in history
I just want someone to remember me

I'll probably never hold a brush
that paints a masterpiece
Probably never find a pen
that writes a symphony
But if I will love then I will find
That I have touched another life
And that's something
Something worth leaving behind

Hey Midas you say you have the magic touch
But even all that shiny stuff
Someday is gonna turn to dust
Hey Jesus it must have been some Sunday morning
In a blaze of glory
We're still tellin' your story
I may not go down in history
I just want someone to remember me

I'll probably never dream a dream
and watch it turn to gold
I know I'll never lose my life
to save another soul
But, if I will love then I will find
That I have touched another life
And that's something
Something worth leaving behind

Hey baby see the future that we're building
Our love lives on in the lives of our children
And that's something
Something worth leaving behind

hm...what do you think?
toodlesss<3

when words fail

I'm sure you have heard the quote, "the lyrics to her favorite song will say more then she ever will," and if you haven't then now you have. But anyways I really like that quote, I always have and I'm pretty sure I always will. Its just so true, and it really applies to me as I'm sure it applies to everyone else too, or else why would we all be in love with music? Its the reason that I usually put at least some song lyrics at the end of my post whenever I write in my blog. And whether or not you read the lyrics it defines how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking about at the time. Whenever someone has me listen to a song, or whenever I listen to someones ipod, I always wonder what's going through their head as their listening to the song, what makes them like the song so much, how it applies to them or anything in their life. Especially if its a song they like, and they ask me to listen to...I mean theres obviously a reason why they like it.And its so cool how sometimes music or lyrics say something about a person that you may have never known, or never will. So lets see if you can pick out a song that you think applies to me right now.
-I'm feeling stressed...which is sad because school hasn't even started
-mad and a tad annoyed at my parents
-in love with my boyfriend
-And I am feeling like i desperately need some saving tonight...like some fun? or just relaxing and watching a favorite movie, a long phone call, or a bubble bath

I know you all are big music fans so I expect to get some lyrics
with love<3
p.s. copied some of the title from emilay tehe =]

field hockey.

alright well today was the first day of field hockey...or at least i thought it was. It turns out, it wasn't that first day of field hockey. So i woke up this morning(at like 7 btw) and got ready and my dad drove me over to the high school on his way to work, only to find out that there was no one there...greattt....so my dad was like I can either leave you here and call mom to pick you up when you get to work or I can drop you off at Charlton Heights...so I'm thinking uhmm you are definately not leaveing me here (it was like 8 in the morning and freezing out). So he dropped me off at the Elementary school and I walked home because he was late for work. It actually wasn't that bad, considering I got to go home and sleep another 4 hours. But then I was woken up by Mrs. Richardson, calling to ask me if I can babysit tonight...haha a tad bit akward. So anyways, I thought you would like to get a laugh at how my morning has been so far...talk to you laterr<3

first day of work.

alright so today was my first day of work....i recently got a job at oliver's cafe, as a dishwasher...yes i know you are all jealous, anyways. it really isn't as bad as you would think although it has its moments, plus it pays good and i need the money...so back to my first day at work...it was already kinda a long day...because I'm kinda slow....like compared to the other people that work there at least (bc honestly i dont think im thatttt slow haha) Buttt my parents like didn't pick me up...i know your like wow that sucks...well it does...because i had to wait there with my "boss" for like an hour and a half....an hour an a half!!....and yes i tried calling.no answer....so yeah it didn't go so well...i was wicked mad at my parents, but then when i got home and talked to them i wasn't so much because they felt really bad...its not that they forgot about picking me up ..i mean they kinda did, they went to look at our new house (because we are moving), and it ended up taking longer than they expected...but other than that my first day wasn't that bad, besides the face that my hands got sooo amazingly wrinkly, it was good. (oh and btw my boss, claudia ended up bringing me home, but it was fine because she was totally okay with it). So later on in the day i went over to kayla's house to hang out for a bit and we watched the olympics! haha welllll some of the olympics, but i have my first day of field hockey early tomorrow so I'm thinking I'm going to shower then sleep =]

Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard
There's a piece of you that's here with me
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by
I can make believe that you're here tonight
That you're here tonight

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away

toodles<3

how am i supposed to feel when your not here

alright so yesterday i went to the Great Escape, with my friend emily and her mom. It rained a little bit...but only for like twenty minutes..so it was nothing. I have to tell you that the highlight of our trip at the Great Escape was the skycoaster, Emily and i went on it together for the first time and it was amazing. I'm not quite sure if I want to say it wasn't scary...because it was but it definately wasn't as bad as i thought it would be...plus i talked through some of the part getting pulled up ....haha so that may have made me not realize exactly how scary it was. But it really was fun, such an experience and after the first drop, it just feels like your flying, but in my opinion the first drop was the best part...because it literally felt like you were falling...until the cord/rope thing "caught" you. We went on other rides..and the water park which, of course, was fun too. After our day at the Great Escape, emily and I went back to her house and got changed and stuff, then headed out to the movies. We saw the Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 2...it was sooo good. Times a bit sad..but it was definately as good (maybe better) than the first one. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you that my parents just informed me today that we are moving. Its still in the same school district, and in Burnt Hills, but idk, I guess I am just trying to think positive about it....considering how I'm not exactly thrilled that we are moving in the first place...but its a bigger house and although its change we will have more room and I'm sure it won't be as bad as I think. Well I guess I'm going to head over to the Y with kayla to workout for a little while.... here are some lyrics to a song ive been listening to alot lately

That's What you get by paramore

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn.
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard.

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

toodles<3

come here buttercup

alright, so once again i am at my cousins house, i seem to be here alot lately...i don't mind its just right now i dont have anything to do because my cousins Gina isn't here...again haha. anyways i have been thinking alot lately about like memories and how important they are to me....like remembering them and looking at pictures and "recalling" them. I mean when you think about it memories should be pretty much one of the most important things to us....our present is enjoyable, but it quickly becomes our past...which therefor turns into a memory. I always ask my boyfriend, josh, to tell me stuff about us..haha it sounds really funny especially because we have been going out for about 7 months and thats not really a long time to know someone, and have alot of memories to share, buttt i absolutely loveee hearing him tell me them. Sometimes i don't remember stuff that he does remember, but most of the stuff i remember at least alittle, i just love hearing them from his point of view, because it may be different then what I remember or thought or experienced it to be like, and i like hearing him tell me little details that i don't remember, or that he remembered for some reason, haha i ask him to tell me about "us" alot, just because i like hearing him talk about it. And knowing that i like that so much just made me realize i like hearing about it because i like thinking about it and its important to me. I find myself reading notes from schools that my friends and i have given to each other and remembering what they were about and what was going on in our lives. idk whether you agree or disagree or if you can relate or not, but thats just what im thinking about these days. here are some lyrics from a song i like....what do you think?

words get in the way by jewel

Come here buttercup
Let me fill you up
Can't you see i'm the blue in your skies
You can tell by the stars in my eyes
Dawn always comes too soon
It hurts me like a bruise
There's a hole in my pillow
Where you used to be
It feels like a hole in the middle of me

Oh, oh, oh just take my hand
To have and hold if not obey
Oh, oh, oh say you're still my man
I'll try to find the words to say
That i want you always to stay
To wake up with you every single day
But words get in the way
Words get in the way

Tell your boss you're dead
And let's go back to bed
You make me want to break out in song
But everytime i try it just comes out wrong

i dont really know why i like this song, because i can't really relate to it but i do like it
toodles<3

whenever i think about you

alright so right now im at my cousins, the DiJohns house, and everyone is in the pool....its too cold for me and i kinda just dont want to go in haha. so today josh and i have been going out for 7 months =]...and you willl probably all think I'm weird for saying this but honestly it feels longer than 7 months...idk why it just does. i am so happy that these past 7 months have` happened though. I've been busy lately...i suppose thats why i haven't blogged in a while...but here are some things i have been up to: well on thursday i think it was i had a sleepover with emily, we wanted to go to the mall, butttt that didn't end up working out so well =/ so instead we rented a movie...The other Boleyn girl...have any of you seen it? idk it was pretty good...intense at some parts =P anyways so then on friday i babysat my little sister Kathleen all day with my sister monica while my mom was at work; so on friday i got a call to babysit for these people i don't know...they just moved here from Kansas city, and are supposed to be moving into their new house this Friday, anyways so me not realizing that they don't actually have a house yet i didn't think that they would need me to babysit their kids at my house haha so it was a little akward when they got here but it turned out fine. They had a daughter, Quin, whos two and a son, Henry whos about 9 months, they are cute kids haha and hopefully they will call me again to babysit =]. On saturday i woke up at 7 to babysit emily and kate at 7:30, 7:30 to 4 is a long day, especiallly to babysit them, but they are great to babysit for and we have fun haha....then after babysitting the girls i got dropped off at my cousins for my gramps 80th birthday party; i got to see alot of relatives....like the ones that i only see about once a year in the summer...it was fun tho. As much as i love being with friends being with family is funn too (just not too much haha). I am so excited tho tomorrow kayla come home and i can't wait to here all about her time while in Costa Rica....she gets home late monday night but i still can't wait to talk to her. hm so i was thinking recently about like things and how much they are really worth to me in my life, like a "does that really matter" type of thing....like little things and sometimes big things. My friend kellie said to me one time.....is that going to matter 5 years from now...and she made a point alot of things won't, and i think i should think about that more than i do....and I am trying to think more about even those things that will matter in 5 years. As many of you know about me though...is that i don't like suprises that much...idk why but im not the biggest fan.....and i consider five years from now and not knowing what its going to be like a suprise. i wish i knew what is going to matter in five years....like the things that i should worry more about now for the future...does that make sense? idk anyways i guess thats all for now...here are some lyrics =]. 

Why Can't I? by Liz Phair

Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be

Holding hands with you when we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too

What if this is just the beginning
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

with love<3

I'd like to check you for ticks....in the rain of course

alright...has anyone ever heard of brad paisley? because last night i went to one of his amazing concerts.in the pouring rain. The concert was at SPAC and we had lawn seats..haha (enough said). I went with my mom, dad, my sister monica and kayla too. My mom wore a yellow poncho and my dad wore a blue one.....wicked embarassing...kayla and i decided a little water wouldn't hurt us haha. Although we got really wet, kayla and i weren't like soaked (beside our feet), bc we stood under this big thing (which acted as a roof) the whole concert. It was such a good concert, julianne (i dont remember her last name) was there, jewel, chuck wicks (major hotttiee!!!) and brad paisley. they are all country singers for those of you who dont know who they are=]. and it was really good. You know how SPAC is like on a "hill"...well there were tons and tons of people who were outside (yes in the rain outside....part of this crowd being my parents and monica standing under umbrellas) anyways, there was a big group of "older teenagers" (for lack of a better word) and they made a huge mud slide. like seriously they slide down the lawn in the mud and it was soo funny looking, security tried to stop them once, but supposedly they kept going down...security wasn't very successful. So as a whole this week has been an extremely good week, hanging out with josh and kayla, then emilys party which was really fun, and then going to camp but not having to stay over =] haha. alright well it would only be appropriate to leave you with some brad paisley lyrics...(which will hopefully explain the title for this post to you ;]).

Ticks by brad paisley

Every time you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
In the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peekaboo
I'd like to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo.

Hey that gives me an idea
Let's get out of this bar
Drive out into the country
And find a place to park.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe I've got your back
And I've also got your front
I'd hate to waste a night like this

I'll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you when we get there is me.

You know every guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I've got way more class than them
Babe that ain't what I want.

its a funny song you should listen to it...alot of his songs are funny.
toodles<3

forever will be you and me

alright well right now I'm at my cousins and my cousin gina, who i usually hang out with went to her friends camp sooo thats why I'm on the computer =P haha. I have to tell you about my night/morning/day so far...even tho i've probably already told many of you. I was on the phone with my amazing boyfriend last night until like 5 this morning....i know rightt. but anyways so then when we hung up bc we were both getting tired (naturally haha), i couldn't go to sleep....like i was tired but not really. So i got up and went outside...i took a short walk and then got a blanket and read outside for like 2 hours, during which my crazy neighbor who happened to be up for work came over to give us more unneeded crap...which she always does by the way (its like oh im cleaning out my house let me give it to the Fazios)....i mean i know its the thought that counts but its like just no, well this morning she dropped off a basket of toys for my sisters and a half of a watermelon...random?i think so. shes like you can eat the whole thing and not tell anyone or you can share...ill let you decide and i just faked a smile. Back to the rest of my day. At about seven when i finished my book, the truth about forever, (mad good btw), i went inside, layed in my bed and slowly fell asleep. I woke up at like 12:30 to find out that i had a half an hour to get ready and my mom was in the shower..psh greatt i know. So now im at my cousins with my dads side of the family and I've been eating, playing volleyball, swimming, reading and stuff like that, its fun even tho it would be better if gina was here. I am so excited for this week, and if everything goes as planned its going to be soo much fun, ill be sure to tell you about it after =]. so anyways now you are caught up on whats going on with me here are some lyrics to a song i am like addicted to (once again haha).

Check Yes Juliet by We The Kings

Check yes Juliet
Are you with me?
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside
Check yes Juliet
Kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight

Lace up your shoes
A O A O ah
Here's how we do

Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me

Check yes Juliet
I'll be waiting
Wishing, wanting
Yours for the taking
Just sneak out
And don't tell a soul goodbye
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown
3... 2... 1... now fall in my arms now
They can change the locks
Don't let them change your mind


later<3
p.s. Happy 4th of July!

its all in the game of love

Alright (have any of you noticed how i usually start off a post like that...psh I'm weird...i guess its just bc I'm getting ready bc i usually say it out loud when i type it in here tehe).....as many of you have noticed i am a big popsicle fan these days...idk why its like me "craving" (psh nooo im not pregnant) but yeah i always am eating them, i have eaten 34 so far this summer......i know this bc i keep the popsicle sticks tehe. I think by the end of the summer i should do something with them...idk we'll see how that works out haha. So i think we should stop waiting for things to happen. Like why wait (why wait....hilary duff song...pretty good)? but anyways like as it got close to summer everyone was like i can't wait for summer and i mean thats alright bc summer hadn't exactly began yet bc we were all in school but at the same time its like it summer and even tho we were in school i know i have fun after school, in school and on the weekends...so its almost like what were we waiting for. But summer does offer so much more oportunities and freedom so thats a plus. But we shouldn't still be thinking, "oh i cant wait until summer starts" ....bc even if its a day when we are just home alone in our bathing suit all day i mean that is summer....summer is whatever we want it to be...alright well im not really making a point i know so i will just stop haha. well this is kinda a short post i guess but i will just leave you with some lyrics.

The game of love by Santana

Tell me
Just what you want me to be
One kiss
And boom you're the only one for me
So please tell me
Why don't you come around no more?
Cause right now
I'm crying outside the door of your candy store

It just takes a little bit of this, a little bit of that
It started with a kiss
Now we're up to bat
A little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain
I'm telling you my babe
It's all in the game of ...

Love is
Whatever you make it to be
Sunshine
Instead of this cold lonely sea
So pleased baby
Try and use me for what I'm good for
It ain't saying goodbye
It's knocking down the door of your candy store

alright i loveeeeee this song, idk why, maybe its bc it kinda is true, how love can be like a game, with like winning or loosing, not knowing the directions or whatever, but you should listen to it, whenever i hear this song it always buts me in a really good mood.

with loveee<3

Like a tree without roots, I'm falling

You know everything about me...
Yet you don't know where I begin.
How can I be so anxious as to let you in?

Like a leaf falling from a tree,
it knows the ground is there.
But me,
I'm so unsure that you won't be strong enough to catch me

alright...what do you think? just some random thoughts i suppose, but they kinda got me thinking about trust and how powerful it can be. Do you think that you are easy to trust people? Or do you think that people trust you easily? I'm sure if you are one of those people that people trust easily you know. I kinda admire people like that, but at the same time i can hate them haha its great i know. But i admire them because its great how they can be so easily trust, because it means that people don't have a reason not to trust them (careful double negative =P)....but anyways it means that they have alot of secrets which i think is very cool...you know being a little mysterious, and it means that although they have those secrets they don't tell people and they aren't the kind of people that like tell you a little but then they can't tell you the rest bc its a secret and God forbid they actually tell you the rest (you know considering they already told you some) bc i can't stand that...as some of you may have guessed. But i also kinda hate those people because depending on what the secret is i want to know it =P tehe, or like i said its annoying when they tell you some but then they are like oh no...im not supposed to tell anyone so they stop its like thank you for that. Well back to the idea of trust anyways i think i need to learn to trust people more...like not be afraid to "share my own secrets" because i should just think i have no reason to not trust them if they haven't done anything to lose my trust, and especially with my friends i think i can even have trouble with that, so i am going to try that a little more....try trusting people. Anyways I am leaving to go camping this friday with my besttestt friend emilay, in lake george, I cannot wait bc i know we are going to have an amazing time. I am actually very excited for the next upcoming days. Josh is coming up for a couple days so I am glad that i will be getting to see him, and kayla is coming home, whom i haven't seen since like everrrr and then like i said leaving to go camping with emilay. So i have come up with a summer plan...and yes this is actually a good, and well thought out plan. I am going to listen to my mom this whole summer...i know i never thought i would plan that either, but i am going to try it ....key word there tryy....so even if i fail you cant say i didnt follow through with the plan bc the plan only entitles me trying (not succeeding). But this is my plan bc i am figuring if i can succeed my plan at least a little it will guarantee me a better summer, and we all know thats good. this was kinda a weird post only bc it like changed moods oh well. haha. well the "words" (for lack of a better word) up above are lyric type things so i guess thats all for now.
with lovee<3

little things in life

I think we...we meaning like people in general...but i guess especially we meaning us in burnt hills because we don't see that much poverty and suffering, at least not daily, (well anyways to get back to what i was saying), I think we take things for granted. I think we take a lot for granted. And you will all laugh but like our hair for example, whether its too thick or too thin, too short or too long, not the right color or just whatever it is we take even having hair for granted. If we were to all experience cancer or a surgery where we lose all our hair we would appreciate it much more. Another example if our eyesight, our useful hands and fingers, i mean seriously i have no idea what i would do if i didn't have any hands or fingers and i definitely have no idea how i would survive if i couldn't see anything. We rely on these things sooo extremely much and those are just a few. We always think that we should appreciate others, by saying please and thank you and although i think we should do that, shouldn't we also appreciate God for blessing us with such things, like our hands, hair and eyesight? I think about this and wonder if that means anything though, because you hear about people who can't see, and they aren't complaining when I am sure they would love to see the color of something like there own eyes. Although they may not have some of the things that we think we couldn't live without they are also blessed, because somehow they go on with their lives. I don't really know the point I am trying to make with all of this I guess I am just realizing how much we don't appreciate the little things in life. Anyways don't ask why I thought of all of this because I don't really know. but I guess thats all...kinda short..here are some lyrics.

Come in With the Rain by taylor swift

Talk to the wind, talk to the sky,
Talk to the man with the reasons why,
And let me know what you find.

I’ll leave my window open,
‘Cause I’m too tired at night to call your name.
Just know I’m right here hopin’,
That you’ll come in with the rain.

toodles<3

one hot second

alright. so this ones for everyone who has been so kind to inform me that i haven't written in my blog in forever. To be completely honest i haven't written in my blog because i have been irritated, and i didnt want to have you read one of my blogs filled with all crap and negative thoughts butttt i guess thats what you are going to get. So i am currently going through an "I hate my mom phase"....for many reasons. First of is the bathing suit situation...she said i could get a bikini..which is a big step for her, but then i try them on and show them to her...and shes like "nope too revealing"....what the heck is that about. I mean of course a bikini is going to show a little skin but it like ...lets not be picky or anything mom after all you are the one who will be walking around in this bathing suit *hense the sarcasm*....bc honestly i mean yeah shes my mom and so naturally shes not going to want me to be walking around in nothing but its a bathing suit...its not supposed to be a full body cast and i am the one wearing it.....it will be on my body not hers so what does it matter to her whether or not i feel comfortable in it. Another reason that I am hating my mom is she took my phone.....she has had it since sunday night i think...maybe monday night...and the thing is..I pay for my phone!! So she doesn't even have the right to look at it...no but seriously she shouldn't be allowed to take it.....i wasn't breaking any rule at the time. I'm not allowed to be on the phone after 9 and it was before then....I had all my homework done..except i was coloring my art project..but I can color and talk on the phone and I wasn't in my room (oddly enough my parents want me to spend more time outside of my room "with everyone else")...she said not to ask for it back bc she doesnt know what she will give it back...so now I am just randomly waiting until shes in a good mood and decides to give it back...of course me getting my phone back comes with a "talk" about alllll this crap. There are other reasons too...one of which involves a shirt...but those are the main ones. Alright well yesterday i went to borders with kayla...and say whatever you want but i am actually looking forward to having alot of "relaxing reading time" this summer. Like seriously i can't wait haha....oh and one of the books i am reading currently, had the title of one hot second and so i thought it would be cool to put it as my blog title...get you thinking about what I'm reading =p. You know what's something I'm starting to not like....people having an opinion about you...well not really an opinion but like thinking a certain thing of you...or someone thinking only that thing...especially when its bad...but sometimes even when its good it can still be bad. Like when people think they know something about you and they really don't....or they think they know what you are like...and they don't even know where you begin. I also don't like when people feel like they should know stuff about you...like your not allowed to keep secrets...like your not allowed to keep stuff to yourself even if its something that has absolutely nothing to do with them. I like secrets...I mean some people would say I'm not great at keeping them but i have many secrets that I haven't told...and I just like the fact that they are a secret....nobody else knows them...bc that kinda means that there must be a reason that you do know it...right?anyways I guess thats all for now..here are some lyrics to one of my favorite songs

Backseat of a Greyhound bus by:Sara Evans

She wore a dress with cherries on it
Going somewhere where she'd be wanted
In a town this small all they do is talk
No wedding ring, chipped fingernail polish
She always wished that she could go to college
But some dreams fade, they just slip away
She started to show a few months ago
And she had to go, that's how she wound up

On the backseat of a Greyhound bus
Head hung down with the windows up
Staring at the rest of her life
She never thought this would be the place
Where she would find her saving grace
But she fell in love, she fell in love
On the backseat of a Greyhound bus
The moon was full, the stars were smilin'
God has a funny sense of timin'
The baby came on the interstate
Somewhere between Jackson and Memphis
She finally found what she had been missin'
She cried and laughed while the red lights flashed
Sweet baby girl, she looked into the face of a new
The face of a brand new world

On the backseat of a Greyhound bus
Heart so full that it could bust
Staring at the rest of her life
She never thought this would be the place
Where she would find her saving grace
But she fell in love, she fell in love
On the backseat of a Greyhound bus
Sweet baby girl, she found a brand new world

withlove<3

If there was a Grand Canyon...

okay so I went to the prom walk in and I have to say after seeing all that it really makes me want to go to prom haha...anyways this weekend has been kinda blah...not blah as in boring but blah as in like good and bad parts and they have kinda canceled each other out so its been just kinda blah. You know what I think is soo pretty.....a dried out rose or pressed rose pedals...as some of you know thats something that I do with more of my roses or flowers that I have gotten or at least the special ones =)...but anyways they are so pretty because they are like a beautiful memory frozen for you to look back at and remember who gave you the rose, how or why you got it, and just the purpose behind such a simple flower. I really like memories....I wouldn't say I'm the type of person who is always looking back and wishing to relive them...but I am the type of person who likes to capture moments with a picture or who likes to just look back and remember them. One thing that I really want to do in my life.... and when I say life I kinda mean like I'm hoping sooner rather than later...is go to arizona and see the grand canyon...I don't really know why I want to but I just think it would be an amazing experience. So I have recently fallen in love with this song called there is no arizona by Jamie O'Neal......I don't exactly know why I like it....it doesn't apply to me at all or anything like that I just really like it ...so here are some lyrics for you (okay so these lyrics are kinda long ....like not for a song but just for me to put on my blog but I guess this song kinda tells a story...like most country songs haha .....so yeah just read them and suck it up =])

He promised her a new and better life, out in Arizona
Underneath the blue never ending sky, swore that he was gonna
Get things in order, he'd send for her
When he left her behind, it never crossed her mind

There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona

She got a postcard with no return address, postmarked Tombstone
It said "I don't know where I'm goin' next but when I do
I'll let you know"
May, June, July, she wonders why
She's still waiting, she'll keep waiting 'cause

There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona

Each day the sun sets into the west
Her heart sinks lower in her chest and
Friends keep asking when she's going
Finally she tells them don't you know

There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona

He promised her a new and better life, out in Arizona

later<3

the mystery within a cloud

Do you ever want something, but then when you get it, it turns out that it was nothing that you ever really wanted? I absolutely hate when that happens to me. Like crying...do you ever want to just cry, and then you get a reason to cry and you can't stop. I'm mad at my parents right now...and I know what your thinking...what happened this time, but its just them being how they always are trying to screw over my life, being to over protective and irrational. I hate limitations and out of everyone in my life, my parents limit me the most. I love the rain, because no matter what happens while your in the rain, its always better than not being in the rain while its happening. The rain washes things away, it cleanses you, just by letting yourself feel it against your skin. It creates peace in your mind and relaxes you. You are alone, while being surround by everything at the same time, you are drenched with never ending teardrops, but it doesn't matter, nothing really matters at the moment. No matter where you look, the world is covered with such pure water, and you have no control, no control of the rain, no control of yourself and no control of anyone else for that matter. It is completely silent, but you are hearing everything all at the same time. So, I guess I will just leave you with the lyrics from one of my favorite songs

Bring on the Rain by Jo Dee Messina

Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war ('cause)
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight

love<3

Friday night beneath the stars

Colorful, Really fun, Amazing, Yucky tasting, Only wax, Neat, Sunshine makes me melt....okay you may think i am only the biggest freak ever right now but i love crayons. On a blank, boring page, crayons give you the power to put life into such an empty picture. Just when i start to think that i have way to much homework that i should probably start i see a box of crayons and I'm like psh screw homework I'm going to color=)...that was kinda random but I really would much rather just sit and color listening to music then do my homework. Anyways, today was a good day..i mean there isn't really a reason why it...it just was. I can't wait for this summer...like I was thinking about it today and its going to be soo great. Like even if I'm not going to be busy like everyday...it will be nice to just go outside in the sun and read or take a walk....I can't wait. I think if people have something to say they should just say it...like if someone wants you to know something but for whatever reason they didn't tell you wouldn't you be like "uhm...tell me"....like no matter what it is good or bad you would want to know either way, and the other person wants you to know so its just better for the both of you if you just say what you want instead of holding back. Its like doing what you really want to do...what's the point of not doing something that you want to do....exactly there isn't one and sometimes you know you are going to do it eventually so you might as well just do it now..when you really want to. Well I guess that's all for now so I will just leave you with some lyrics .
I'm only me when I'm with you by taylor swift

Friday night beneath the stars,
in a field behind your yard,
you and I are paintin' pictures in the sky.
And sometimes we don't say a thing;
just listen to the crickets sing.
Everything I need is right here by my side.
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you.
I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

i love this songg
toodles<3

in this moment

I have to be honest and tell you that I haven't really been in the "blog mood" lately....but I have been thinking a lot recently. And I realized I have soo many unanswered questions...I don't know who would have the answers so i guess i just never ask and keep wondering...maybe you have the answers to some or they will at least get you thinking. Why do we paint our driveways....like I know we don't actually paint them...but we do...we paint them black. The road isn't black so why must our driveways be..what is the point in that? Secondly can we (as in people) actually hold a cloud...i mean i know clouds are like fog and stuff but can we like touch one and acknowledge that its a cloud? How many wings does a bubblebee have? How tall will a tree grow if you never were to cut it..and how tall will grass grow if you never cut it? Why does it hurt when you get soap in your eyes? Why don't we appreciate stuff...like everyone says "live in the moment" and you hear that all the time..but as much as we hear it why don't we just actually do it....we take advantage of so much...i know I do at least. Tomorrow we won't remember anyways---those are lyrics from a song...but I don't remember what song they are from exactly, but I think that those lyrics are so true...like i dont know about you but I dont remember like anything from yesterday...but the best part is....it almost always never matters that we don't remember yesterday or certain parts of yesterday. I think that something that I really want to do...is something that seems impossible for me to do...like I just want to do it to prove to myself that I can....and if I can't then I guess i would do it to find out that I can't do it...i feel so boring..i need to entertain myself with myself...(well okay i guess i need better wording for that) like i want to do this just because i really want to...if that makes any sense. I guess this is it for now so here are some lyrics that i really like right now

Thats where it is by Carrie Underwood

In the circles I've been running,
I've covered many miles,
And I could search forever for what's right before my eyes,
Just when I thought I'd found it,
It was nothing like I'd planned,
When I got my heart around it, it slipped right through my hands,
Here with you I feel it,
I close my eyes and see it,
In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss,
When I'm in your arms, that's where it is,
When we're tangled up and can't resist,
When we feel that rush, that's where it is,
That's where it is

with love<3

yay tomorrows friday..

Okay so school wasn't so bad today i have to admit but i did stay after for science..which is always a little depressing because its like ew science...well thats how i think of earth science at least. Shannon came over after school today...and its the first time that she has been to my house and like the first thing she heard when she walked through the door was the baby crying and shes like since when have you had a baby haha....she wasn't talking about me personally though. okay although i don't have a lot of homework due tomorrow...i have sooo much homework for this weekend...and i have good intentions (haha) of getting it all done..so that I'm not all crammed with homework the following week. Science is a little rough these days though..she gives us like 2 labs....to do at home not in school how labs are supposed to be done and then like a bajillion worksheets for review...I'm not that sure how I will do in science this quarter. But even though i have alot of homework i really can't wait for this weekend..because first of all its the weekend...and second i will be hanging out with josh and some other friends. okay so here are some lyrics to a song...i really like this song but i think these lyrics are my favorite part
Where You Are by Jewel
I get so lost inside of you, but
I can not always find my way
To where you are

toodles<3

the begining

okay so I'm not exactly sure if I will be good at this whole "blog" thing, so if I suck at first have some patience with me. Today was a pretty boring day for me ..like the highlight of my day was laughing in science class with shannon...no offense shannon. I was very happy to hear though that the test that i thought i had to take today after school i get to take it in class on friday...for me this means more study time (whether i will actually take advantage of this time who knows) and i get to miss class =). Today it was really cold out and i had to walk home for my activity bus stop which is like a half a mile away from my house so thats kinda yucky..because i was wicked cold. So i thought it would be kinda cool to share some song lyrics with you so called "blog readers"..maybe i will share some lyrics with you in every blog....we'll have to see. Anyways today i am feeling a little ehh like nothing really great happened but for some reason I'm in a good mood..which is always good.
Somethings never change by sara evans
In a world that keeps turnin',
And movin' so fast,
When you can't hold on to nothin',
And nothin' seems to last,
It's so good to know,
That love still remains.
Ain't ya glad,
That some things never change?

So I'm thinking that i need to come up with a name for the lyrics that i post on here... that songs a little country as you can probably tell by the lyrics but its a good song and its been stuck in my head like all day today.
toodles<3